The Atonement Glowing Pigs and Artie the Genius Chimp

Saturday, August 4, 2018

What a relief to be in my sanctuary. Sit down and relax relax with me.

Photo by Unsplash (I don’t have a room like this, so let’s pretend.)

Last time, I voiced my dislike of acronyms. It inspired our marvelous Story Reading Ape to be a bit of a prankster. He spontaneously created a slue of acronyms as he wrote a story (yes, he became the Story Telling Ape), which continued the adventures of Atonement, Tennessee’s otherworldly pigs.

Please welcome back, Artie the Genius Chimp and creation of the Story Reading Ape. I proudly present to you, an original story by Chris Graham.

You can read Deme, Honeybell, and the Batmobile here. Without further monkeying around, here’s another snort story.

Artie Meets the Glowing Pigs

Artie, courtesy of Chris Graham

Artie the inventor and TSA-RT (Time/Space/Alternative-Realities Traveller) Chimp was in a right fix…

LYEDS (Light Years, Eons and Dimensional Shifts) from home; the SbMCW (Smallest, but Most Crucial, Widget) in his MTSA-RTM (Mobile Time/Space/Alternative-Realities Travelling Machine), had broken, leaving him well and truly stranded in the back-end of NW2 (nowhere/no-when).

To make matters worse, he was so far out of the TSCL (Time Space Continuum Loop), there was no light in that part of the multiverse, apart from his machine’s main headlight, which couldn’t reach back into heart of the MTSA-RTM (see above) “engine.”

The Naughty Chimps, courtesy Chris Graham

A thorough search of his EK (Emergency Kit) revealed the presence of an RW (Replacement Widget) and necessary tools, but the total lack of his H-T (Headband-Torch), probably “borrowed” by one of the other NGs (Naughty Chimps), so they could RTCiB (read their comics in bed), meant he couldn’t see to carry out the necessary repairs.

There was no other choice. Artie had to go into DPS (Deep Pondering State) in order to send out a TDS (Telepathic Distress Signal) and hope that an SSF (Someone/Something Friendly) would hear it and come to help.

2 Pigs

Within nanoseconds, his DPS was interrupted by a loud PLOP (a short sharp noise) and two glowing piglets greeted him.

“Hello Artie, our names are Deme and Honeybell, we are your DRs (Designated Rescuers), how may we help?”

“Hello, Deme and Honeybell, so good of you to come so quickly.”

“If you could hover over this compartment and increase your GFs (Glow Factors) a bit more, I should be able to see well enough to fix my machine,” Artie suggested to the pigs.

Ponderating Chimp, courtesy Chris Graham

In less time than it took to read this report, Artie removed and replaced the SbMCW (see above).

Being a well-mannered chimp, Artie gave Deme and Honeybell a lift back to their home, before returning to his.

The moral of the story?

Always check that everything is in your EK before leaving home.

Always practice your DPS, you never know when you might need to use it.

Always treat all creatures with respect, you never know when you might need their help.

TSRA

pig

***

The End.

***

If you have any questions about the “Atonement-verse” feel free to leave them in a comment. I love to hear from you. Hugs and glows!

***

Now, promoting my “partner in crime,” Chris Graham.

My Vibrating Vertabrae cover

A lovely book of poetry by Chris Graham’s mom

Amazon

Amazon UK

***

Here’s the requisite shameless self-promotion of my own books…

Atonement Video Cover copy

Atonement, Tennessee

Amazon UK

Bijou front only 2

Murder at the Bijou — Three Ingredients I

Novel-book-The Three Things Serial Story-Teagan Riordain Geneviene-The Writer Next Door-Vashti Q-spotlight-author

The Three Things Serial Story: A Little 1920s Story Kindle

This is a work of fiction. Characters, names, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, locales, or events is entirely coincidental.

No part of this work may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights.

All images are either the property of the author or provided by free sources, unless stated otherwise.

#GetCaughtReading 2018 — The Books & A Hullaba Lulu Extra!

Saturday, May 19 2018

Hello, one and all! Thanks for being part of my Get Caught Reading Month. Chris Graham – the Story Reading Ape and I had a great time with the mini-series.

You’ve caught me reading again. This time it’s The Sorcerer’s Garden by D. Wallace Peach. Diana calls her blog Myths of the Mirror.

I got this book on my Kindle recently, and I finally found a moment to open it. I can tell you that it did not disappoint. Diana is an amazing talent with “high” fantasy. She’s easily as good as Terry Brooks or Robert Jordan (my long-time favorites). Her world-building and prose are superb in this and everything I’ve read from her. And she’s written so many books! Just pick one and see if you can stop. (As the old potato chip commercial used to say, “You can’t eat (read) just one.”

I asked everyone to let me know what I had caught you reading. Your selections were so wonderful that I wanted to share the books here. I’ve included purchase links too. (Unfortunately I’ve only included Amazon, because… I have a real-world job and little time.) In no particular order, here’s what I caught you reading:

Caught You Reading!

The Contract John Howell and Gwen Plano (soon to be released)

Return to Hiroshima Bob Van Laerhoven

Mazie was Crazy Bradley Lewis

Dead on Arrival Karen Vaughan (Laura and Gerrie Series, Book 1)

Shopaholic and Sister Sophie Kinsella

Circumstances of Childhood John Howell

Ludwika Christoph Fischer

Three Against The World Sarah Stuart

The Bone Curse Carrie Rubin

The Hidden Life of Trees Peter Wohlleben

A Dead Guy at the Summerhouse Marian Allen

The Golden Serpent Luciana Cavallaro

Versions of the Self Christy Birmingham

Thank you kindly to Robbie Cheadle, author of the Sir Chocolate Book Series for mentioning that she’s reading my The Three Things Serial Story.

***

Hullaba Lulu Extra!

Valentino surveys the situation from atop the Ferris wheel, by Rob Goldstein

For those of you who are not “on the train” for my Jazz Age Wednesday feature, Hullaba Lulu… I’m collaborating with virtual reality artist, Rob Goldstein. Rob sends images and videos to illustrate this series, and he’s sending me “three things” to spontaneously drive each chapter of this pantser story. (You can see the entire collection of videos here.)

Lulu and Valentino on the great Ferris wheel, by Rob Goldstein

The characters have landed in a strange version of Atlantic City, in a nearly empty amusement park where your entry fee is paid in cheeseburgers, and the rides do frightening things. As I pantsered away to the action, I didn’t get to show Lulu and company on the rides. So here are some images from Rob to flesh out that aspect of the story.

A couple of angel-bots followed Lulu from the train to the park.

When the characters finally got onto Valentino’s diesel-punk train, I added some angel-bots to the cast. Rob let them get off the train to enjoy the Ferris wheel.

Valentino, angel-bot, and Lulu having some fun, by Rob Goldstein

I hope to see you at Jazz Age Wednesdays for more Roaring Twenties fantasy excitement with Hullaba Lulu. You’re the cat’s pajamas!

Now, promoting my “partner in crime” for this year’s Get Caught Reading story — Chris Graham.

A lovely book of poetry by Chris Graham’s mom

Amazon

Amazon UK

***

And my own shameless self-promotion…

Atonement, Tennessee

Amazon UK

Murder at the Bijou — Three Ingredients I

The Three Things Serial Story: A Little 1920s Story Kindle

All images are either the property of the author or provided by free sources, unless stated otherwise.

Artie Meets the Alchemist Conclusion — #GetCaughtReading 2018

Saturday, May 12, 2018

Hello, everyone! I’m back for more Get Caught Reading Month festivities. Chris Graham – the Story Reading Ape and I collaborated for a mini-series in honor of this event.

But first…

You caught me reading another great book. This week, you’ve caught me reading one of my favorites by Sally Georgina Cronin — Just an Odd Job Girl.

Read the reviews of Sally’s books (and buy them) via a number of distributors. However, for my convenience in creating this post, here’s Amazon (click here), and Amazon UK (click here).

*******

Now back to the 2018 Get Caught Reading mini-series…

Previously in Artie Meets the Alchemist…

Artie was testing how fast his motor cycle/time machine could go down Route 66. Meanwhile Cornelis Drebbel was taking his road locomotive down to investigate, because the civilization alarm in the alchemist’s dirigible went off…

Over to Chris Graham…

Artie Meets the Alchemist

Conclusion

Artie’s portable time machine, image courtesy Chris Graham

Using all his strength, skill and a sizeable amount of good luck, Artie managed to avoid a collision with the rapidly approaching road locomotive. He basically ran off the road, over an embankment, somersaulting, while doing a 180 horizontally, and abruptly stopping on top of an unfortunate bush, (the only one for miles in any direction), miraculously still on his seat and gripping the handlebars…

From his vantage point, now facing the road, Artie watched the road locomotive stop with much clanking, squealing and copious clouds of steam. A tall man in formal attire, complete with top hat, and impressively bushy eyebrows, stepped down and hurriedly walked towards him, appearing to be asking questions. What the questions were, Artie didn’t have a clue at that time — he was still deaf and dazed by the unexpected acrobatics and abrupt stopping manoeuvres…

640px-Road_locomotive__John_boy__(5605531950)

Wikimedia Commons

Then, the man disappeared as the embankment quickly rose. In fact, the bush had decided it had had enough and collapsed, depositing Artie and the time machine back onto the ground.

The man scrambled over the embankment and after a quick check for broken bones (there were none), helped Artie remove his safety helmet. He barely paused at Artie’s simian features.

“Are you injured old chap?” he inquired in quaintly polite Teutonic English.

Artie shook his head, wondering at the stranger’s lack of reaction.

“Yes, I’ve met chimpanzees similar to you before. I’m terribly sorry to have suddenly materialised in front of you, old boy. You did a terribly good job avoiding a collision.”

Artie grinned his appreciation of the compliment.

“Allow me to introduce myself, I’m Cornelis Drebbel, and you are…?”

Cornelis Drebbel

Artie put out his gauntlet clad paw, “Aristotle, but please just call me Artie.”

”Your machine looks quite impressive Artie, some kind of motorcycle, but not one I’ve seen before, did you build it?”

”Yes, I did, and your road locomotive is the best I’ve ever seen. Regarding your sudden appearance, may I ask if you are a time traveler too?”

(Back to Teagan)

“A time traveler? Oh, my goodness no. Or well, I suppose you could say that I am. My companions and I were out for a jaunt in my dirigible and it came to my attention that they had not brought any books along. The jackalope has some but they were only about weather and empirical data. So, I set the civilization alarm in hope of finding a library. Do you happen to know of one?”

Artie, courtesy of Chris Graham

Artie ponderated for a moment, thinking it was good that they had both landed in that world and time. He gave Cornelis a big toothy grin.

The genius chimpanzee showed the alchemist an app specially adapted for his mobile time machine.

“This will show us the libraries around the world,” Artie told him.

“Oh, that’s quite amazing. Why there are more than two million libraries! We should find mechanical engineering periodicals for Copper, and weather science volumes for Jack, and romance novels for me,” Cornelis enthused. “Erm… I mean, history and science books for myself.”

“Indeed!” Artie agreed with a wink.

Then the very remarkable chimpanzee zoomed away on his converted motorcycle / mobile time machine. With a burst of rainbow colored light, he disappeared.

Cornelis Drebbel shook his head in admiration.

“Copper will never believe this,” the alchemist murmured to himself as he turned on his communication device. “Jack? Copper?”

“Yes, Alchemist?” the jackalope answered.

“I’m ready to bring the road locomotive back up to the dirigible. Could you give me a hand, old thing?” Cornelis asked.

Image by Chris Graham

“Of course, Alchemist. Were you able to find a library?” Jack eagerly inquired.

“Millions of them!” Cornelis cried.

“Conrelis Drebbel,” Copper began. “Why do you need help getting the road locomotive back up? You better not have damaged it again. I only just finished the repairs to it.”

Cornelis cringed momentarily. He really didn’t mean to abuse Copper’s mechanical talents, but it was certainly a relief that she was so capable. Besides, the main thing was he had found millions of libraries and there would be no shortage of reading material.

“Dear girl, you are going to be astonished at all the books you’re going to get,” he told her instead of answering.

“You wrecked the locomotive again, didn’t you?” Copper said in a resigned voice.

Cornelis wriggled his bushy eyebrows and smiled to himself.

***

The End.

Who won the drawing for a book from Teagan?

This month is all about encouraging people of all ages to read. Last week I offered a Kindle version of one of my books to the winner of a random drawing. I asked anyone who wanted to participate to leave a comment with the title and author of the book I’ve caught you reading. And the winner is… (drum roll…) Viv Drewa the Owl Lady!

Viv chose my 1920s stories. Since The Three Things Serial Story is only a dollar, I threw it in with Murder at the Bijou — Three Ingredients 1. Thanks to Viv and everyone who came out to play.

Next weekend I’ll show you all the books I’ve caught people reading. Meanwhile, ankle over to Jazz Age Wednesdays for my current Roaring Twenties serial.

Just because I can’t resist, here’s Rob Goldstein’s latest video for my Jazz Age Wednesday series, Hullaba Lulu.

Thanks for visiting. Mega hugs!

***

Now, promoting my “partner in crime” Chris Graham.

A lovely book of poetry by Chris Graham’s mom

Amazon

Amazon UK

***

And now my own shameless self-promotion…

Atonement, Tennessee

Amazon UK

Murder at the Bijou — Three Ingredients I

The Three Things Serial Story: A Little 1920s Story Kindle

All images are either the property of the author or provided by free sources, unless stated otherwise.

Artie Meets the Alchemist Video! — #GetCaughtReading 2018

Sunday, May 6, 2018

Hello, one and all! It’s Get Caught Reading Month. I couldn’t resist making a video for the mini-series Chris Graham – the Story Reading Ape and I are doing in honor of this event. Please click here for episode-1 of Artie Meets the Alchemist*. Video trailer follows.

Learn how to win a free Kindle copy of one of my books!

***

Now, promoting my “partner in crime” Chris Graham.

A lovely book of poetry by Chris Graham’s mom

Amazon

Amazon UK

***

And my own shameless self-promotion…

Atonement, Tennessee

Amazon UK

Murder at the Bijou — Three Ingredients I

The Three Things Serial Story: A Little 1920s Story Kindle

All images are either the property of the author or provided by free sources, unless stated otherwise.

Artie Meets the Alchemist 1 — #GetCaughtReading 2018

Saturday, May 5, 2018

Hello, everyone! It’s Get Caught Reading Month. Chris Graham – the Story Reading Ape and I are together again for a mini-series in honor of this event. There’s also a free Kindle book to be had — read on to learn about that.

But first…

Every week, you’ll catch me reading a different book. You might catch Chris too, but you’ll have to ask him what he is reading. Kicking off this series, you’ve caught me reading one of my favorites by Olga Núñez Miret from her Escaping Psychiatry series — Beginnings the prequel.

Read the reviews and buy the books Amazon (click here), and on Amazon UK (click here)

Now here is the premier of the 2018 Get Caught Reading mini-series…

Artie Meets the Alchemist

Part 1

Man Sun gears Steampunk Eugene_Ivanov_2442

Eugene Ivanov, Wiki Media Commons

“What is that infernal clanging? Ugh… It’s unbearable! Where are you, jackalope?”

“It’s the civilization alarm, Miss Copper.”

“Jack, thank goodness you’re here. Could you please shut off that noise? My hands are full with the omniscope.”

“Of course, Miss Copper. There. Is that an improvement?”

“Thank you. You are the world’s most wonderful jackalope.”

“You are welcome, Miss Copper. The sensors detected a group of lifeforms. Ah, Alchemist ― good, you are here. We’ve found sentient life. It appears to be an established community. Shall we land your dirigible?”

“Jack, old thing, you are a marvel! Let’s see what we can from up here first. That looks like a highway over there. Copper, do you see anything though the telescope?” Cornelis said.

“It’s an omniscope, and yes. I see apes. Or rather chimpanzees. A bunch of them! Jack, is that what you meant by an established community?” Copper wanted to know.

Image courtesy Chris Graham

“No, no, no… That’s altogether verneukt! They aren’t purple apes by any chance? We need to turn this ship around!” Corneils exclaimed.

“No, Cornelis. Of course, the chimpanzees are not purple. What an absurd thing to say. Relax,” Copper assured him.

“I’m sorry, Copper. It’s just that it wouldn’t be the first time. I told you about the purple world where everyone had an ape doppelganger. It was an interesting experience but not one I’d want to repeat. Although I admit it was difficult enough, landing in a world where you were a young woman, rather than the little girl I knew.”

“Keep your hands to yourself, Cornelis Drebbel. If you ruffle my hair like I was a small child one more time, then you’ll draw back a nub!”

“Miss Copper!”

Dreamstime

“Oh, calm down Jack. You know I wouldn’t really do that. Although there hasn’t been an un-interesting day since Cornelis Drebbel showed up, claiming that he knew me as a small child ― in a similar but different world. He might get into only half as much trouble with one less hand.”

“I’m going to take my road locomotive down and investigate. Copper and Jack, you two should stay up here for now.”

“That’s fine by me, Cornelis. Apes make me uncomfortable. Jack and I have plenty of work to do. But try to stay out of trouble. Please!”

***

Image courtesy Chris Graham

Now over to Chris Graham

Since his adventures with Pip and Mona (see: Pip and Artie Meet Again Parts ONE, TWO & THREE), Artie had been busy refining his converted motorcycle / mobile time machine, and even incorporated an inter-dimensional shift facility (IDSF) so he could not only travel through time, but also visit alternative dimensions, or realities, as he preferred to call them.

All this had, of course, involved many periods of deep ponderating, to the extent that he would often jump up (waken himself and half the neighbourhood) with sudden loud exclamations of “Of course!” which sounded suspiciously like loud snoring snorts…

In any case, after each addition, or adjustment, Artie would go off on a test run, to make sure everything worked as he intended, relying on his trusty Emergency Visit Duration Countdown Alarm (EVDCA) to get him safely back home again if all else failed (he hoped)…

During one recent test run, Artie was testing how fast the machine could go down an alternative reality version of Route 66 after his latest adjustments (i.e., too fast) when, with a bright noisy flash, a steam tractor-like road locomotive suddenly appeared about a hundred yards in front of him!

***

End Part 1

(For related stories see: The Sign of the Ape series and Copper, the Alchemist, & the Woman in Trousers serial in the blog Categories on the right side of the screen.)

Drawing for a book from Teagan!

May 9, 2018: The time period for entering the contest is now over. I’ll announce the winner this Saturday.

I hope you’ve enjoyed the first part of our Get Caught Reading offering. This month is all about encouraging people of all ages to read. So I’ll do a random drawing to give away a Kindle copy of one of my books (winner’s choice).

Here’s how you participate. To enter, leave a comment telling me the title and author of the book we’ve caught you reading! You must leave the comment by Tuesday to be included. I’ll email the winner an Amazon Kindle copy of one of my books — you get to choose which one.

Tune in next weekend for more of Artie Meets the Alchemist. Hugs!

***

Now, promoting my “partner in crime” Chris Graham.

A lovely book of poetry by Chris Graham’s mom

Amazon

Amazon UK

***

And now my own shameless self-promotion…

Atonement, Tennessee

Amazon UK

Murder at the Bijou — Three Ingredients I

The Three Things Serial Story: A Little 1920s Story Kindle

All images are either the property of the author or provided by free sources, unless stated otherwise.

After Thistledown — #GetCaughtReading and More

Saturday, April 27, 2018

Thanks again to everyone who supported Thistledown – Midsummer Bedlam. I always like for my blog stories to be “interactive” with you readers, at least to a degree. You were an essential element of that faery tale.

What’s Now and What’s Next?

Well, one thing that’s next already is… or the future is the present… or have I just boldly gone where no (wo)man has gone before?

Hullaba Lulu

Art by Rob Goldstein

What I’m trying to say is that for those of you who aren’t familiar with my Jazz Age Wednesday posts, I currently have a series in collaboration with artist Rob Goldstein. It’s a Roaring Twenties, diesel-punk fantasy called Hullaba Lulu. Is that news to you? No worries, click here* for a post that has links to all the past episodes. It’s pos-i-lutely darb. Get aboard the diesel-punk train!

What’s Next?

Get Caught Reading Month — All New Mini-series with Chris Graham

May is Get Caught Reading Month. Twice in the past, Chris Graham – the Story Reading Ape and I have collaborated on stories for this event. Hold onto your hats, because we’re together again! Premiering next weekend… (drum roll)…

Artie Meets the Alchemist!

Artie the genius chimpanzee is the creation of Chris Graham. He has popped into several of my stories. For our new story, a fictionalized Cornelis Drebbel is my character — he’s managed to wriggle out of the serial where I created him* and into some others too. I wonder what will happen when those two run into each other? Oh yes, this will be a steampunk story.

The Next What’s Next and Poll Results

I haven’t completed the editing and proofing of Atonement in Bloom. Although I still hope to finish before the summer arrives (as in solstice). After “Bloom” is published I will start a new Saturday serial.

A while back I polled you readers about what kind of “three things” serial you wanted next. The results were overwhelmingly for a new Atonement, Tennessee story. I’ve never done Atonement in a serial form. However, I’ve always seen those books as a trilogy. Blogging leaves me no time to write, so if there’s going to be a third book, it will have to come from a serial here. That’s a while into the future, but stay tuned!

This blog has always been about the readers, being interactive. I love your comments. I appreciate your visits. You are a huge part of it, and I thank you.

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Atonement, Tennessee

Amazon UK

Murder at the Bijou — Three Ingredients I

The Three Things Serial Story: A Little 1920s Story Kindle

All images are either the property of the author or provided by free sources, unless stated otherwise.

Happy Saint Patrick’s Day

Saturday, March 17, 2018

Image by Chris Graham

It’s not really St. Patrick’s Day as I write this, but it is my writing day for Thistledown. However, I’m not up to continuing the story today, so I’m taking it easy on myself to some extent. Hopefully I can do some more editing for Atonement in Bloom.

Here’s a snippet from Atonement in Bloom. There are a couple of new “supernaturals” in the town of Atonement, Tennessee. This excerpt comes from the middle of the scene where Lilith the cat encounters them. The oddly warm December night saw the calico sneaking out and following her nose to the thing she hated — magic. She watched the actions of two supernaturals for a while. Then she realized another stranger stood behind her. The unknown woman’s anger had grown as she observed what transpired.

Atonement AND Bloom

…“Now to restore the balance,” the strange woman said, yet she hesitated. “But those two tricksters have definitely earned a small lesson,” Beira the Crone added with a wink to Lilith.

Her dark green velvet cloak fell back as she extended both arms. With the staff still grasped in her right hand she turned in a circle three times clockwise. As she moved, the velvet cloak swirled about her ankles as if the wind moved it. Beira’s long lapis-blue braid lifted on the same invisible currents. Her violet eyes shone brightly in the moonlight. On the third circle Beira tilted her head back exultantly.

The strange pillar lights faded out of the sky, and the glowing nimbus became normal wintery clouds. Then the temperature plummeted. Lilith instinctively fluffed out her long fur.

This can’t be good, the calico thought.

Lilith (Dreamstime)

Lilith watched in wonder as snowflakes floated to the ground. Snow began to accumulate on the nearby stone wall. Beira walked over to it and tilted her head as if considering. “So it has grown here before, and spontaneously. Ah, recently too. This place is more interesting than I knew. Perhaps it bears further investigation,” Beira commented, rousing Lilith’s curiosity.

She gave the wall a light tap with her age darkened wooden staff. Then she nodded once more.

Lilith’s feline ears heard an odd vibration within the stone wall, which a human would never have noticed. In the light of the moon, the cat watched as a single rose sprouted from the top of the rock wall. A single blue rose.

***

As I said, it would be nice if I could do some editing to “Bloom” today. Although, Chris Graham (aka the Story Reading Ape) sneaked the idea for another story into my brain when he created the fun images for me. Now I’m wishing I could also write The Chronicles of the Green Witch. (Winks.) So many unfinished novels… so little time.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day

from Teagan’s Books

Image by Chris Graham

I hope you’re wearing your green! See you next weekend for Thistledown — Midsummer Bedlam.

***

Atonement Video Cover copy

Atonement, Tennessee

Amazon UK

Bijou front only 2

Murder at the Bijou — Three Ingredients I

Novel-book-The Three Things Serial Story-Teagan Riordain Geneviene-The Writer Next Door-Vashti Q-spotlight-author

The Three Things Serial Story: A Little 1920s Story Kindle

All images are either the property of the author or provided by free sources, unless stated otherwise.