Happy 2014! Three Ingredients Serial – 4: Graham Crackers, Apples, Cream Cheese

Parrot Menu Episode 4 copy

I for one am quite happy to welcome the arrival of 2014.  Did you notice that the new year begins on a new moon?  To me, that makes today very special.  May it bring wonderful new beginnings to all of us.  Happy New Year everyone!

This time our ingredients are from Alexandra of “A Scholarly Skater.”  I hope you’ll check out her blog.  Alexandra’s suggestion of “graham cracker” took my imagination to an unexpected character.  I’m not sure how long she will stick around.  Maybe you’ll have a comment about keeping this character (or not) after you read episode 4 of The Three Ingredients.

There is a how-to video for making graham crackers at the end of this post.  The narrator’s voice “feels like home” to me.  She really does make me think of Granny Fanny! (But of course these characters are strictly the product of my strange imagination and have no relationship to people living or dead, disclaimer disclaimer, disclaimer.)

4.  Graham Crackers, Apples, Cream Cheese

Biscuits Brun ad“Part of being a good cook is learning to work with whatever you have on hand,” Granny Fanny instructed me.  “You have to use your imagination in the kitchen just like you would if you were sewing a quilt or painting a picture.”

I tried not to fidget, and determined to be focused on what she was saying.  I stifled a yawn.  It had been a late night.  To my surprise, Detective Dabney Daniels had offered to let me tag along when he went to investigate the dead man’s hotel room.  I was even more surprised when Granny said it was okay for me to go with him.  Maybe she wasn’t as strict as I expected, letting me go off alone with a man.  But I guessed she knew him pretty well.

1920s Woman Parrot

It was more than just tagging along.  Daniels put me to work making an inventory list of everything in the man’s room.  And I mean every little thing, all the way down to receipts from the diner across the street from the hotel, to various items of trash in the wastebasket.  The detective still wasn’t sure who the man was, but he took some papers from the dresser drawer that he wouldn’t let me see.

The place was in a huge mess, mostly thanks to his pet.  The guy had a big parrot and it had shredded a fruit basket that was on the dresser.  There were bits of apples and other unidentifiable fruit everywhere.  Daniels called the veterinarian to get him to take charge of the bird.  However, the doctor’s wife said he was a good three hours’ drive away, for the birth of a champion thoroughbred’s foal.  So I ended up taking the cranky, loud, messy parrot back home to Granny’s.  At first my grandmother was horrified.  Granny always complained that birds were too messy, so she’d never had so much as a budgie.

“Paisley Idelle Peabody!” Granny said in a borderline tone that snapped me back to what she was doing.  “Now pay attention,” she said then suddenly sighed, stopped, and turned to face me.  “Pip darlin’ you aren’t here just because I convinced your father that you need to learn to be a passable cook.”

Her expression looked a little sad and I was immediately concerned.  “You’re here because I need your help, Pip.  I’ve been doing odd cooking jobs, treats for parties, and things like that.  It’s become a good bit to handle.  Now this hoity-toity family has asked me to cater their kid’s wedding.  I’ve taken on small cooking jobs, but never something that big.  It’s all too much for one person, so I need you to pay attention and learn.”

Granny was the most self-sufficient person I knew.  Her asking for help was a big deal.  I gave her a hug.  “I’m sorry Granny.  I’d be pleased to help you.  I promise to listen better.”

The words made her smile and she set about half a dozen items on the counter.  “Now, what would you make from these things?” she asked, and I thought so hard it felt like my head would explode.

“Come on now.  Don’t fret.  Just relax and think about it.  You have cream cheese, pepper jelly, graham crackers, a lemon, and an apple,” Granny said encouragingly.

“Well,” I began.  “I could just eat the graham crackers,” I caught her glare and desperately added to that idea.  “Okay the graham crackers —” I started to say but was interrupted by the afore mentioned avian.

“Cracker-cracker-cracker!” the parrot flew into the kitchen screeching.  It perched on the back of a chair bobbing its head up and down in a comical way.  “Cracker!” it repeated with emphasis.

I handed her a cracker, and the parrot made short work of it.  “Cracker…” it said softly that time and rubbed its head against my arm.

1924 Liberty-apple“Pip, I told you to put that nasty bird in its cage,” Granny said.

“I did, Granny.  But she knows how to open it,” I defended while I scratched the bird’s head.  “Poor thing.  She must have been scared to death when her master didn’t come home.  The Doc said they’re real smart.  I haven’t heard her say anything but cracker.  Have you?” I asked and my grandmother shook her head.  “I wonder if she’s traumatized?” I added.

My grandmother snorted at that idea.  But the wily bird looked at Granny and gave a wolf whistle.  Granny Fanny finally laughed and gave the parrot a piece of apple.  “It’s too bad she can’t tell us who her master was.  Back to work now.  What were you about to do with the graham cr — With those things right there,” she asked, apparently hoping the bird would stay quiet if she avoided using the word cracker.

I laughed.  “Maybe that’s her name.  Cra —”

“Shush Pip,” Granny interrupted in a whisper.

“Ha!  Okay.  Ummm… they’d be better with some cream cheese on them.”

She looked at me patiently then raised her eyebrows.  “Uh…  I could slice that apple and rub it with lemon juice so it doesn’t turn brown.  It would be good alongside the cream cheese spread graham crackers.  But I’m sorry Granny.  I can’t imagine how the pepper jelly works in with this.”

“Very good Pip.  Very good indeed.  It’d make a right nice snack to go with a cup of tea,” she said, and I couldn’t help smiling.  “This pepper jelly is actually really nice blended with the cream cheese.”1920 Home Journal Parrot

I handed Cracker a slice of apple and started trying to coax other words out of her.  I had the crazy idea that she might say something that would help us figure out who her late owner was.  However, I was interrupted by a knock at the front door.  Granny called out, “Come on in, we’re in the kitchen!”

A moment later Detective Daniels walked in with a man carrying a medical bag.  “I brought Doc Vale to give the bird a check-up,” he said and introduced me to Dr. Vincent Vale.

Cracker eyed the men and bobbed her head.  She made a cooing sound and then another wolf whistle.  “Hey baby!  Who’s your daddy?” the parrot wriggled her tail feathers and asked our visitors.

I thought Granny would faint.


Homemade Graham Crackers


Copyright © 2014 by Teagan Ríordáin Geneviene


No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination, or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

18 thoughts on “Happy 2014! Three Ingredients Serial – 4: Graham Crackers, Apples, Cream Cheese

  1. This is delightful. For some reason, I really enjoy reading stories that involve food or cooking. I think that’s what I enjoyed most about the Redwall series – not only were the characters funny and silly, but they had all these amazing food concoctions that sounded delicious. It all seems so real, when you add the element of food to prose.


    1. Hi Ida — I’m so glad you stopped to comment! I’ll have to look into the Redwall series. I haven’t read many of the culinary novels. I’m really stretching my comfort zone! 🙂
      So I’m glad to hear that you enjoyed the episode.

      I agree with what you said about “adding food to prose.” Well said.


    1. Thanks Maureen. I spend more time “decorating” the posts than I do writing them. But that’s part of the fun too.
      I’ve bought “limited rights” to several images at DreamsTime. [Aside — they are based in Tennessee, where my fictional town of Atonement, Tennessee is. Pure coincidence.] I used them for all of the animals holding menus.

      Of course I also do web searches for magazine covers and ads.

      Best wishes with your “Fearless Fred” story. http://kiwis-soar.com/fearless-fred/


  2. YES! Graham cracker recipe!
    An American friend sent me some once and they are wonderful. You can’t get them in the UK. Recipes for cheesecakes and the like say to use Digestive biscuits in place of Graham Crackers but they aren’t the same.
    My 12 year old daughter is a most excellent little baker. I shall set her to work at once.


    1. That’s great Penny!
      [Since I was 10 years old I’ve had a pen-pal in England. We had a devil of a time figurine out what each other meant with things like crackers and biscuits. Very different meanings here and there on some things.
      You might try Amazon.com. I’m not sure about getting things from the one I use to Amazon.UK… At any rate when I have trouble getting something, I’ve learned to look for it there.

      Happy baking!


    1. Thanks Mary — and a lovely 2014 to you too!
      Yes, I meant Cracker. LOL, I like graham crackers too. Thankfully, unlike the video recipe, some of them don’t include eggs. [I’m allergic to eggs.]
      Sorry to give you a craving! 🙂

      Cracker continues in episode 5 [I’ve already written it]. We’ll see where the ingredients lead [regarding the parrot and everything else] after that. 🙂


  3. Nicely done Teagan. Since I love the avian community I’m happy to cast a vote for Cracker to stay. Anyway, he might be helpful with clues as to his master yet.
    xxx Massive Hugs and New Year Wishes for you xxx


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