Teagan's Books

Monday, February 12, 2024

Hello, everyone.  First, something good.  Today is the first anniversary of the day Velma and Daphne arrived.  I wanted to use names of a fictional detective duo.  During the night before they came, my mind had briefly flitted across the names on which I eventually settled. However, if Chris The Story Reading Ape had not reminded me of them, I might have never remembered that sleepy thought. 

They were already about six months old.  Now at a year and a half, the “Scoobies” are still doing well, and putting sunlight in my universe.  So happy whatever you want to call it, to them and to me.

Eric Clapton “Change the World” video

Sometimes things change. Sometimes existing things get a lot worse.

For twelve years, I’ve been writing serial stories. That’s always been my blog shitck.  I keep writing them because I enjoy it, but also because I need the interaction and connection with readers that the serials provide.  I don’t believe you can understand quite how much I need that, but I’ll try and explain here.

Isn’t it funny how the things one most needs can also be the things that are the most difficult?

Now and then, I mention “my stuff.” Despite four years of therapy, I’ve gotten steadily worse, rather than better.

What is Complex PTSD?

Typical PTSD can arise after a traumatic episode, such as a car collision, an earthquake, or a sexual assault. It is generally related to a single traumatic event. Complex PTSD, on the other hand, is related to a series of traumatic events over time or one prolonged event.  Sometimes referred to as “Disorder of Extreme Stress”, it is the most severe form of post-traumatic stress, requiring the most support of the five sub-types.

The fear of conflict or confrontation due to past experiences can make it challenging for individuals with C-PTSD to engage in healthy conflict resolution. They might withdraw.  Almost any interaction can feel like a confrontation.

What is Agoraphobia & how does it relate to Complex PTSD?

One of the many issues that can follow Complex PTSD is Agoraphobia. This involves fearing and avoiding places or situations that might cause panic and feelings of being trapped, helpless or embarrassed.  One may fear an actual or upcoming situation. For example, one may fear using public transportation, being in open or enclosed spaces, standing in line, or being in a crowd. (More from the Mayo Clinic.)

That fear also includes conflict and confrontations. A seemingly insignificant challenge or remark feels like a confrontation that might escalate into violence, an insurmountable challenge for someone with agoraphobia brought on by CPTSD. Because of this, I haven’t left my home in five years.  I haven’t been more than one mile away from my home in 15 years (other than the monumental relocation to escape DC).

If you’re still reading at this juncture, or if you’re skimming and trying to spot where I’m going without reading, let me point out that the previous paragraph connects all this back to writing serials — the need for the interaction of the serials yet how difficult it can be.

Here’s The Point of this long boring story going nowhere.

That said, I’m discontinuing Atonement Bad Bishop, and I won’t be writing any new serial stories.  For those who actually enjoy and want to finish the story, I will continue to work on it offline, and hopefully finish it.  Then I’ll put it on Amazon for as cheap as they will allow.  However, it won’t be here.

Please, I do not want anyone to take this personally.  It isn’t about any one person or any single comment.  This seems to flare up periodically — the comments that cause me to feel the need to defend myself.  One un-thought question is asked, or something is remarked, and it just seems to open the gates for another and another.  I repeatedly make requests about friendly comments, so I am sure everyone thinks they are being friendly.

Honestly, I don’t know whether I can or should share any more of my writing here.  Although short stories and such don’t seem to generate the same type of comments that serials do.  Maybe I can share those…

However, I will continue blogging.  I’ll keep writing and publishing novels.

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Remembering Velma and Daphne’s First Day

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© 2024 by Teagan Ríordáin Geneviene

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