Wednesday, May 13, 2026
Hello, everyone. This whatnot is for Dan Antion‘s Thursday Doors Writing Challenge. The Pumpkin Hat Girls are back with the conclusion to the “New Boyfriend” storyline. To join the fun of this challenge, pick one of the doors that were submitted at Dan’s blog as inspiration for the challenge and write, or create whatever you please.
The inspiration door I chose for today’s story was submitted by Robbie Cheadle.
The Pumpkin Hat Girls:
The New Boyfriend – 3
The Offer
In my heart I knew what I had to do — regardless of whatever explanations (or excuses) might be made. So, later that day, I tried to call Simon to tell him plain and simple that I wasn’t interested. Not just in a romantic long weekend, but that I wasn’t interested in having anything else to do with him at all. I wanted to tell him that he couldn’t want in one hand and crap in the other and see which one gets full first. However, when I couldn’t get an answer, I held back on the message I recorded.
Actually, I left two messages, one at each of the two phone numbers I had for him. Both times I said that I needed to talk to him, and that it was important. I checked to confirm my messages had gone out properly. That was when I saw something I should have noticed from the day that I met him. Neither number was for his home — both were business numbers.
That should have been a dead giveaway. Why do I never learn these things?
I headed to a park that was in the middle of a campus of office buildings. I was supposed to pick up Ursula after a medical checkup so her nurse, Kelly, could have the rest of the day off. After all, he was only her parttime helper.
It turned out that I was extra early. I took out my phone to open an audiobook… but then I felt a new wave of pissed-off-ness at Simon for being such a faithless user. If he wouldn’t call me, so that I could break up like a decent person should, then I’d just text that snake in the grass.
And I did.
I was too busy stewing to open the audiobook. About five minutes later there was a voice right behind my ear.
“Really, Pepper. I thought you were a better person than to break up with me by text,” Simon told me in a hurt tone. “You must have misunderstood something. Just sit back down and let’s discuss this rationally.”
Startled, I jumped up from the bench so fast that it made me dizzy.
“Rationally?” I echoed, furious that he would say that. “That dog won’t hunt, Simon. As for what I ‘misunderstood’ there were five of us who saw you and your… your whatever. Don’t interrupt me — yes, my friends all saw you too. And how in heaven’s name did you know I’d be here?”
“Look, Pepper…” Simon began, but his words stalled when Kelly and Ursula walked up to stand beside me.
“How dare you!” Ursula growled and before I knew it, her walking stick was on its way up toward Simon’s face.
I grabbed the cane just in time. Meanwhile Kelly put his arm around Ursula’s shoulders to make sure she wasn’t thrown off balance.
“Oh, Simon. You have really bungled things, haven’t you,” a smooth, posh voice said disdainfully.
Turning, I saw a tall blonde woman. She was expensively clothed and coiffed. She could have walked out of a TV show about a boardroom full of executives or high-priced lawyers.
“Ms. Riley, I apologize for Simon. If you’d be so kind as to come up to my office, I’ll be happy to explain,” she offered, with an upward wave at the tallest building.
“Pepper, I will not allow you to go anywhere alone with either of these people,” Ursula told me, moving to stand between me and the woman.
“That goes for me too,” Kelly asserted, but then slapped his hand to his forehead. “I can’t. I have Mr. Higgenbottom scheduled for… for five minutes ago… And he’s not in the great shape that Ursula’s in. But I’m not leaving while this guy’s still standing here,” Kelly added with a glower at Simon.
“Simon. Why are you still here? You can report to Langley. Now. I don’t see you moving. That’s more like it,” the woman told Simon in mysterious, but not uncertain terms.
After Simon drove away, Kelly looked at each of us, including the unidentified woman. He muttered something like “I don’t like this.”
“Go help the Higgenbottom. He needs you. Besides, are you thinking that I cannot handle this podsobnik?” Ursula hissed at Simon, in a voice too low for the woman to hear. “I am also more than capable of looking after Pepper.”
The woman smiled reassuringly and handed Simon her business card. Based on his expression, the card had the dual effect of surprising and placating him. After Ursula and I assured him that we would be fine, Kelly also left.
She also passed cards to Ursula and me. I read the embossed text, Jayne Smithers, Operations Director. I glanced at Ursula who lifted one eyebrow as she read.
In other words, Jane Smith, I thought and my distrust-o-meter did not go down even one notch.
“Your friends, Maudie Rocket and Penny Shotz are waiting inside. It’s this largest building, just behind us,” Jayne Smithers informed us in a casual, but still cultured voice as she led into the largest building.
“As you can see, we believe in full transparency,” Ms. Smithers added with a smile that indicated the comment was meant to draw a chuckle.
“What are all of these squares all over all of the glass?” Ursula asked.
“That’s simply a safety feature,” the woman replied in a neutral tone. “They’re meant to prevent people or birds, from accidentally colliding with the glass,” she explained.
Why did her explanation make me feel like there was more to the obviously special glass than that? I thought, but chided myself for being paranoid. This Smithers woman just has an odd manner about her. That’s all.
Ursula and I followed her to the end of the bank of elevators, which were also made of the same square-bedecked glass. She touched a button. Then she leaned forward for a retinal scan. The unexpected security measure surprised me. Taking a step backward, I was ready to make an excuse and leave. However, Ursula had walked right into the elevator, bent on learning what was behind Simon’s behavior. I’d have to make a scene and drag Ursula out… so I got on the elevator.
Ursula’s isn’t stupid or naïve. She must be just plain fearless, I thought and tried to swallow my worry.
Sure enough, in a sleekly modern office, Penny and Maudie were waiting for us. They were chatting comfortably, eating pastries, and drinking what smelled like very expensive coffee.
“What took you so long? We wondered if you were ever gonna get here, so we started without ya,” Penny remarked, offering a plate of golden sourdough croissants.
“That treacherous Simon is what took us so long,” Ursula practically spat. “Pepper did well. She told him that dog does not hunt,” she added enunciating carefully.
“Attagirl,” Maudie murmured.
After a few preliminary words, Jayne Smithers apologized for Simon’s “behavior.” She said that he worked for her, but did not proceed as she had instructed.
Penny’s eyes flashed angrily. Clearly my friend detected subterfuge. Maudie’s brow crinkled in concerned thought.
Maudie was trying to do something to her phone. I noticed its screen was black. I looked at the little frosted glass squares which were also on the broad window of the office. Sure as shootin’ those “security measures” also prevented unsecure phone calls and texts. I knew Kelly could ping Ursula’s phone as a means of checking on her. He had been worried about leaving her. That would explain why Ursula’s phone was silent.
Ms. Smithers was able to “read a room” and she got to the point.
“You see, ladies… Simon was meant to recruit you,” the woman stated. “And to do so in a direct manner, not by any subterfuge and certainly not by any seduction,” she gave me an apologetic nod.
“Recruit us for what?” Penny blurted out distrustfully which made me expect she had also noticed a retinal scan when she and Maudie were brought to the elevator.
“Certainly not for anything dangerous or devious,” Ms. Smithers replied, and I immediately detected deviousness.
“Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit!” Maudie declared. “You’re some kind of CIA, aren’t you?”
“Look lady,” Penny stood as she spoke, her Milwaukee accent heavier in her anger. “Whatever you’re sellin’ we ain’t buyin.’ Right girls?”
Maudie sucked her teeth, making a tsk sound. She stood to follow Penny. Ursula gave the woman such a glower that I think she actually sank a couple of inches into the floor. My three friends walked calmly to the door. Jayne Smithers stared at us in shocked disbelief.
“Ms. Smithers,” I began archly and held eye contact to make sure my subtle point would be understood. “My friends and I appreciate your interest and your point of view. Thank you for the pastries and coffee — which is all any of us recall about this friendly visit. That is, as long as you keep Simon away from me. Maybe his ‘report to Langly’ can be a permanent transfer.”
Wanting to be sure that I came across as cold and unexpectedly dangerous as I meant to sound, I gave her a second that a second to sink in. She nodded and looked suitably impressed.
“Are you certain, Ms. Riley? I’m sure all of you would find the um… arrangement interesting,” she entreated, but I gave my head one firm shake.
“No. It’s a shame that our interest and social circles don’t overlap,” I went on pointedly. “So, I don’t expect to be seeing you — or any of your… colleagues again. At all,” I added and turned on my heel to follow the rest of the Pumpkin Hat Girls.
We got as far as the parking lot before all of us burst out in amazed giggles.
“Can you imagine?” Maudie choked out between laughs. “Us? Spies?”
“Hey, what’s so funny about that?” Penny cried, but she was laughing too.
“It is not so ludicrous,” Ursula’s eyebrow went up again as she spoke in a manner that was so serious that everyone stopped and looked at her. “You think I do not know about these things? I could tell you children tales that would make your hair curl. Our group and our daytrips would make an excellent cover for a group of covert operatives.”
We all exchanged looks. We gulped, looked from Ursula and back at each other again. About that time, all four of our phones made noises. Kelly, having been unable to reach Ursula, was trying all of us. He was probably beside himself.
“Wait ‘til we tell Kelly,” Maudie said with a grin.
Then the giggles resumed.
***
The End.
Although…
***
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This Pumpkin Hat Girls story was the conclusion of a three-part short story so here are links to the other two parts:
The Pumpkin Hat Girls and the New Boyfriend
The New Boyfriend-2: Secret Handshake
Thanks for opening this door. Visit Dan Antion‘s blog for more stories and poems written in response to the TDWC. Hugs!
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Naturally, the obligatory shameless self-promotion must be included.
The Armadillo Files
Universal Purchase Links:
Kindle: relinks.me/B0B8XX4ZSL
Paperback: relinks.me/B0B8XDF1GF
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This post is part of Dan Antion 6th Annual Thursday Doors Writing Challenge (TDWC). Click the blue link for more information about the challenge and how to showcase your stories.) Fortunately for me, Dan’s rules for the writing challenge are wonderfully flexible and include any sort of creativity.
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Copyright © 2026 by Teagan Ríordáin Geneviene
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